August 31, 2018

Hate your job? What you need to do first....

August 31, 2018/ Patricia Rawson

I remember those days of new writing books and pencils with their sharp tips. I loved September with all of its possibilities.

I felt like I was on the edge of something bigger in my life. What would that be? I had no idea. But it was invigorating.

Do you notice those same longings this time of the year?

September is a great time for starting anew.

Having had the expansion that summer brings, now is a perfect time to look at your work life and point it in the direction you want.

Alongside those feelings of excitement, do you feel the trepidation of now knowing what it is that you want to be doing in your work life? Or how to get there?

Where to begin?

By making a commitment to yourself.

I am one of those people who have a pretty solid background in taking care of others. Single parent. Helping professions. Other people's needs are apparent.

Isn't it amazing how many things need handling. Our lives are busy from dawn to dusk (and beyond).

I am amazed when an entire day goes by and I haven't done a thing I wanted to do.

Do you feel the same? Where are you in the list of priorities?

You have probably heard the flight attendant tell you about putting your face mask on first in the event of an emergency. You can't save anyone if you are out of commission.

But do you actually follow that advice?

I suspect, no matter how many times we have seen the safety demonstration, if an emergency happened, you would automatically put your child's mask on first. Perhaps even the seat mate next to you.

It is a matter of habit.

Habits form easily. Doing an activity in a way that works, we repeat. And repeat. Until it becomes automatic. And unconscious. Which can be both great and unhelpful.

So if you have been putting others’ needs and the demands of daily life ahead of yourself for a long time, making yourself a priority may not be that easy.

What do I mean by making a commitment to yourself?

Making an alignment between what you want and time for making it happen.
If you don’t know what you want, make time to explore what that could possibly be.
Investing time in yourself – planning times to do those activities that set your soul on fire.
Making your well being a priority (sleep, eating what makes your body feel nourished, body movement, quiet time, nature).
Taking your dreams seriously. (And lightly – there always needs to be a fun element here.)
Thinking about where it is that you want to go.
If you are feeling stuck or something is holding you back, find yourself someone who can help you. This does not need to be a lonely battle. Actually it doesn’t need to be lonely nor a battle.
Being aware of what you deeply care about. What really matters to you.

Why is being committed to yourself important?

Being committed to yourself means following through on the plans that you make. If you are not following through on what you want to happen in your life, on your personal goals or dreams, this can affect you in a few ways.

Here’s some thoughts on why you need to place yourself as a priority.

When you say you are going to do something and you don’t do it, that has an effect on you even if you don’t notice it. My belief is the lack of commitment goes to the low self esteem bucket. The bucket that is full of unmet promises, often the kinds you make to yourself.

The ones that we don’t think matter.

Except they do. The low self esteem bucket affects how you view yourself. And how you relate to the world and how you relate to yourself.

Being disappointed with yourself becomes apparent in your self talk. Self deprecating, self diminishment. Statements such as, “You never follow through on what you say you are going to do.” “You always…. (fill in the blank).”

Over time, your bucket grows and grows.

This spills over into all of life, including work.

How do YOU make a commitment to yourself?

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Why you need morning pages more than ever

July 04, 2018/ Patricia Rawson

I like backdoor ideas. You know the ones where you get a new view on how to approach a problem?

When I consider how to find work that matters, what I know for sure is the answers often come in unexpected places.

What about the idea of creating the fertile ground for answers to germinate?

I recently revisited an old idea that I pulled off the shelf.

Literally.

Morning Pages. I first heard of this practice shortly after the 1992 release of Julia Cameron’s book, The Artist’s Way. Morning pages are a daily activity to help clear away the cobwebs, to make room for creativity. All types of creativity.

But it isn’t just for artists. It definitely is not about making art.

The idea is straightforward. Each morning, before you do anything else, you write 3 long-hand pages. Whatever is on your mind. Whatever drivel is on your mind.

I have had a morning pages practice a few times in my life. Here are the benefits I have seen:

clarity about what was happening in my life
working on a plan on how to deal with a troubling situation
taming down the inner critic
more inclination to write at other times in the day
not being attached to what I write
letting go of thoughts, ideas or plans that aren’t really that important

This year I had an insight about morning pages about how it could help with the work I do. Curiously, it happened when I was doing my morning pages.

A key concept is I encourage with all my clients is listening, listening to themselves, to be able to get quiet enough to truly hear what they have to say.

In a world with so many distractions (and plenty of advice sharing all over social media), listening to yourself is a big challenge.

What morning pages does is dial us in to ourselves. That it is at the beginning of the day is brilliant.

Since I use my phone for my alarm clock, I can see how easy it is to check email or Facebook even before I lift my head off my pillow.

Suddenly I am plugged into the world! Other people’s thoughts. News. Events.

How quickly it is then for the day to unravel and not be in touch with what is going on for me.

So how does this work with careers?

With a myriad of choices and dizzying thoughts about career choices, it is imperative to separate out what is useful and what is not. Some of this is our fears. Some of it is expectations we inherited from our families. It may be our own ways we limit ourselves.

All of this needs attention. The problem often is that those thoughts obscure our vision. And paralyze us.

What morning pages does is allow the doubts and questioning and inner critic to have their time so that we can get onto the important work.

What does Julia Cameron have to say?

"When people ask, 'Why do we write morning pages?' I joke, 'To get to the other side.' They think I am kidding but I'm not. Morning pages do get us to the other side: the other side of our fear, our negativity, of our moods."

If I clear off what doesn’t really matter, then there is space for what does.

Making morning pages a practice is where you can see the pay off. By doing this day after day you are giving yourself a strong message about making room for your own voice.

What do we tap into during the morning pages practice?

Cameron says, “It is impossible to write morning pages for any extended period of time without coming into contact with an unexpected inner power. Although I used them for many years before I realized this, the pages are a pathway to a strong and clear sense of self.”

Are they any morning pages’ rules?

There are no rules for content. Write whatever is on your mind. What you are planning to do on that day. How annoying it is to try to come up what to write about. A scene that stood out from the day before.

The idea is to keep your pen moving for 3 pages. I am a slow writer so it takes me 45 minutes.

Don’t read what you have written, at least for a month. Reading what you have written is an invitation to the inner critic. If you have brilliant thoughts that you want to explore later, trust that you will remember.

“Morning pages are about tuning out our inner critic. “We learn to hear our censor’s comments and say, simply, ‘Thank you for sharing,’ while we go right on writing. We are training our censor to stand aside and let us create.”

Have you tried morning pages? I would love to hear how they worked for you. If haven’t and are into the idea of doing a morning pages experiment, let me know how it goes. See the comments below.

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Confused about your career? Here's what to do....

May 22, 2018/ Patricia Rawson

“The desire for fulfilling work – a job that provides a deep sense of purpose, and reflects our values, passions and personality – is a modern invention.”

With so many choices.

In his book How to Find Fulfilling Work, Roman Krznaric shares powerful ideas on how to maneuver your way through the labyrinth of thinking about work.

We have entered a new age, Krznaric says, one where “the great dream is to tradeup from money to meaning.”

He tells the story of 3 individuals whose experiences are a sign of the times. A plague of workplace dissatisfaction. And an outbreak of uncertainty about how to choose a career. In looking at the dilemma Krznaric asks 2 questions:

What are the core elements of a fulfilling career?
How do we go about changing our career and making the best possible decisions along the way?

In thinking about the tyranny of options, he says that we are so worried about making a bad choice that we make none at all. To narrow the choices, he suggests thinking more deeply about the core elements of a fulfilling career. And then develop ways to test them out.

He identifies 3 essential ingredients to a fulfilling career: meaning, flow and freedom. When considering meaning, he proposes that there are 5 motivating forces that make a job meaningful:

earning money,
achieving status,
making a difference,
following our passions and
using our talents.

Which is most important? There is no simple answer.

Regarding satisfaction at work, he shows a study of ethical work where he uses the term doing “good work.” The definition is doing “quality work that benefits the broader society.” Those doing good work experienced much higher levels of job satisfaction.

After Krznaric guides us through the 5 motivating factors, he has 3 activities to help brainstorm careers.

The Map of Choices

The first is called The Map of Choices, a picture compilation of all of the work you have done so far and what shaped the path. He asks several questions from the exercise, including what 2 motivations do you want to shape your career.

Imaginary Lives

The second activity he calls Imaginary Lives, he encourages us to imagine 5 parallel universes where we have a whole year to pursue 5 different jobs. This is the playful and expansive part of the consideration.

Personal Job Advertisement

The last activity is creating a Personal Job Advertisement, where you write down who you are and what you care about and anything else important to you. Once it is complete, he suggests you send it to 10 people who you know and ask them from the information what they would see you doing in a career.

In taking all of this information out into the real world, Krznaric has a section in his book called Act First, Reflect Later. Since we don’t know what will really work for us, he talks about doing experiential learning.

Bring it all to life!

An idea he shares is taking a ‘radical sabbatical,’ or a ‘job holiday’ trying out a new career. He also talks about conversational research, talking to people who are doing the work. The third way to test out careers he calls a branching project, a temporary assignment by taking a course, doing evening work or volunteering or job shadowing.

Through doing experimental projects, we are more likely to find what really works for us. The idea is to find work that gives us flow.

“Where can you discover the secret list of flow-careers?”

In exploring the question of finding your vocation, Krznaric says “There is a widespread – and mistaken – assumption that a vocation usually comes to people in a flash of enlightenment or moment of epiphany…. vocations are grown, and grown into, rather than found.”

How to Find Fulfilling Work has some compelling ideas, entertaining catch phrases and is both practical and inspirational in trying to move out of the confusion about what to do when you are in the midst of career confusion.

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Need a Career Breakthrough? Hop on a Lily Pad

May 08, 2018/ Patricia Rawson

Review of The Quarter-Life Breakthrough by Adam Smiley Poswolsky

“This book provides inspiring, honest, and counterintuitive career advice for anyone stuck in a quarter-life crisis (or third-life crisis, or midlife crisis)….”

58 - Book cover_QuarterLifeBreakthrough 2016_Adam Smiley Poswolsky.jpg

Millenials - The Purpose Generation

In his book aimed at Millenials, Poswolsky explores how to find meaning in the workplace.

Not a Millenial? Don't let that stop you from checking it out.

He calls Millenials the Purpose Generation and quotes a Net Impact study showing that more than half of millenials would take a 15 percent pay cut to do work for an organization that matches their values.

He goes on to say that Gen-Xers and Baby Boomers also rank meaning and purpose as top factors for workplace engagement.

Poswolsky encourages us to look at careers through a lily pad career mindset where you jump into a direction that makes sense to you based on your purpose. What we do for work will change over time. Because we change.

To find your purpose, he talks about career experimentation, learning about your talents, paying attention to what you feel and not being afraid to try new things.

A pivotal moment for Poswolsky was when a colleague asked him if he was maximizing his potential. When Poswolsky said no, his colleague asked “Why would you be doing anything less than maximizing your potential in life?”

Where do you start?

Poswolsky says this is where it begins. “The first part of a quarter-life breakthrough is when a light goes on, alerting you that something in your life isn’t working.”

Find Meaningful Work

In the part of the book called Find Meaningful Work, Poswolsky defines the 6 parts of meaningful work:

Meaningful Work Reflects Who You Are
Meaningful Work Reflects Your Interests
Meaningful Work Allows You to Share Your Gifts
Meaningful Work Allows You to Help Others
Meaningful Work Provides a Community of Believes That Will Support Your Dreams
Meaningful Work is Financially Viable Given Your Desired Lifestyle

Throughout the book, Poswolsky gives compelling stories of people and how they found their purpose. One of the contributors believes rather than turning our passions into a business, that we serve the people we love.

The emphasis then is a true engagement.

In another example, Poswolsky talks about a woman artist acquired a full time job where she was pursuing her passions.

Over time, she began working full time for herself as an artist. She says, “Following your passion simply means doing one small action every day that honors who you are.”

Seven Secrets About Meaningful Work the Blogosphere Will Never Tell You

The chapter on Infinite Paths to Meaningful Work explores Seven Secrets About Meaningful Work the Blogosphere Will Never Tell You. One idea focussed on a cultural belief about self employment. “You don’t have to be your own boss to find meaningful work.”

In kickstarting your job search, Poswolsky suggests treating your career like a life long experiment. “Try new things, test assumptions, see what works for you and learn what doesn’t.” It’s all about rapid prototyping – “learning as much as possible, as quickly as possible.”

I was especially inspired by this part of the book, where we see our careers as dynamic and rich with fascinating possibilities. Work doesn't have to be like being on a hamster wheel.

Throughout the book, Poswolsky has practical exercises to lead you through your quarter-life breakthrough. One compelling exercise is completing a Breakthrough Goal Map, an actionable guide to getting working towards your breakthrough. You can find that map in the bonus section on his cool website - Smiley Poswolsky

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What is a careergasm and how can I get one?

April 24, 2018/ Patricia Rawson

Sarah Vermunt can help you with that. In her 2017 book, Careergasm: Find Your Way to Feel-Good Work, she inspires us to get excited about our work, in a 'gasm' way.

There is nothing like a good book to get me fired up! So many great ideas. Inspiration. A book can change a life.

So I decided to see what is out there to help us find a good work fit. In the next 3 blog postings, I am going to review 3 awesome books that crossed my path. Each has a different style and approach but are full of great ways of looking at the problem.

From fear to meaning to oh-so-many options, the authors have delivered some meaty ways to get you into work that matters.

Let's dive in.

Sarah Vermunt begins with the definition.

“A careergasm happens when your work feels good. Really good. Like a groovin’ Marvin Gaye song.”

In this entertaining and refreshing book, Vermunt gives valuable tips and thoughts to get you on your career path. From helping you to look for the clues of what you want to fear and resistance, it is a great tool for navigating through career shifts.

Vermunt encourages us to activate our inner toddler to connect with what we are passionate about. She gives some inspiring examples of people who are leaning into their obsessions and fascinations and how that has taken them down a path they might not have expected.

She tells her readers to find their secret ingredients. “Forget about working from someone else’s recipe. Make your own.”

Two sections of the book stand out in terms of what stops us from moving forward – The Resistance and Fear. “We often resist what we desire most.” Resistance, she explains, is trying to spare discomfort.

In the section on fear, she quotes Jim Carrey who says, “so many of us choose our path out of fear disguised as practicality.”

In Vermunt’s distinct way of expressing herself, she says, “What you want to do is move from a meh to a hell yes, bring it on!”

Failure

“We almost always fail to calculate the risk of NOT taking action.”

Money

“Who’s the boss – you or money?”

Plan B

“My entire life has been a series of Plan Bs.” and then she adds, “Thank goodness.”

Careergasm is a fun read, full of motivation and great thoughts to get sh*t done.

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